brace dot brace

5 May 2005, 7:51 am

i used to listen to bands you never even heard of
i had the first pressing forty-five
ordered from a classified
in the back of a zine you weren’t cool enough to read

we played a hundred all ages house shows
all the way from tampa to spokane
we had to beg for cash to replace our bass strings

one time we played a gig with credmaster
derek talks about being all straight edge
but i saw him take a toke

we did our time in the scene so don’t begrudge us our
major label deal
no more songs about politics, songs about jerking off
have broader appeal
don’t say that we sold out, you know we just grew up
it was time to get real
we did our time in the scene so don’t begrudge us our
major label deal
major label deal. . .
we’re in your mall, we’re in your mall, we’re in your mall

i’ve got a shopping list, you won’t get away with this

we were signed to columbia records
we hung out with major stars
sped around the hills of southern california
with a bimbo on each arm
we could pull it together in the studio
we couldn’t hold it together on the road
five swaggering ids in too-tight pants
always looking to explode
but we only tied off in the best hotels
and we never hung around with low lives
we looked good on ‘entertainment tonight’
with our aspiring actress wives
but posthumous fame is such a kick in the metalhead
cause groupies only ever wanna suck off the living dead
what do i want with critical posterity
when i look at the car and think ‘it should’ve been me?’
because the band is dead, but i’m not
the girl is dead, but i’m still here
how many drinks will it take to forget that?
how many motherf-n years?
we were signed to columbia records
we were dropped like a hot potato

when i arranged with the keepers of the city
to serenade those who take away the lawn waste
i failed to anticipate the reaction
of the neophytes struggling to save face

everything is fragile
i know it now, but i make the same mistakes
over and over
i never learn, and nothing passes the test

when i failed to issue a pardon
for the most popular prisoner
who poisoned the minds of millions
it was just a slight miscalculation

everything is fragile
i know it now, fuck it up anyhow
i never learn, and i never pass the test

chord progression
Cmaj7 - Am - D7 - F7 - G
D - F7 - G - Em
D - B - F7 - G


another damned political song
drug addicted idiots with caustic senses of humor
are roaring down I-81, screaming at the top of their lungs
and i never would have thought of this when i was young and straight-edge
but won’t someone call up the mayor, and tell him that we’ve won

tell him, call off the dogs and call up the backers
for another umpty-ump million
that ettiquette of the tourniquette - that’s how the race is run

deathray davies/vandals ripoff
you’re like an irritated spot upon my neck
a crossword clue i haven’t worked out yet
you’re not at all what i was lead to expect
i’m like a dog worrying a bone
or a scab i can’t leave alone
if i had any sense i’d unplug my phone
you’re bad for me it’s plain to see
it’ll all end in misery
my friends don’t like you they agree
can’t see why you’d appeal to me
and i’m at a loss to explain
you must’ve done something to my brain
why do you have power over me
i’d have better odds playing the lottery

john darnielle ripoff
and let ‘em all come down
let ‘em sing through the eastern marches
let the halogen lamps flutter down
on what we think we learned

morrissey ripoff
and the god who invented morning
surely was a hell of a sadist
as a bright dawn comes stomping through the ruins of a hangover day
i didn’t want to get up anyway

robyn hitchcock ripoff
what if there were nuts they only let congress people eat?
i woke up with this thought in my head
what if there were nuts they only let congress people eat?
but it’s better to eat a nut, better to eat a nut, better to eat a nut,
than to be dead.

Abm — Ebm — F# — E


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