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The arrival of the Strange Objects was preceded by a great deal of activity in the vicinity of the front closet. Lots of dusty-smelling things were extracted, and then returned. Many interesting noises: crinkles, scuffs, scrapes, resonant thumps, and so forth. I observed from what seemed a safe distance, i.e., the couch. I think we all sneezed. When the dust settled (literally!) the two Strange Objects were in the foyer. Later they moved into the living room, but not, I think, under their own power.

I’ve smelt, tasted, heard, and seen a lot of odd things in my time, but the Strange Objects are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. The closest comparison I have is the advent of the Fast Red Dot. viz:

• They don’t smell like prey at all. They smell like oldness and like those small packets that arrive in shoe boxes that I’m never allowed to investigate thoroughly.
• But there’s prey inside them! If you poke one of the Strange Objects, you will invariably startle the prey into a brief flurry of running away.
• But if you pounce right where you think you heard the prey running to, the prey will elude you. It’s remarkably difficult prey to catch. In fact, I haven’t actually been able to get a paw on the prey yet. (see also: “Brief Notes on the Fast Red Dot”)
• The Strange Objects provide the most unsure footing ever. You may think rumpled bedclothes do a poor job of supporting your weight, but rumpled bedclothes are like the Rock of Gibralter compared to the Strange Objects. They look quite massy — much taller and broader than rucked bedding — but when you put your weight on them you sink practically to the floor.
• But even though you’re sunk practically to the floor, you can still hear (but not scent!) small prey scurrying around right underneath your paws.

In conclusion, I think it’s quite self-evident why I’ve named them the Strange Objects.

Addendum: I have determined that they are safe for napping upon. Quite comfy, actually.

– Theo

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